SENIOR CROSSES INVISIBLE BRIDGE FROM LASSITUDE TO VITALITY

Oh, sure, I’d heard it  all – ‘You need to lose weight and get fit; join the gym and work out, watch your food choices and portions.’ As alluring as all that sounded, it did nothing to get me off the couch to restore my slimmer, fitter self, and the pounds kept adding up along with the rolls around my middle.

I didn’t notice it so much until I saw photos of family gatherings, in which I was the only tub of lard. At least, that’s how I saw myself. I rationalized, ‘Who cares, anyway?’

Then, on a breezy overcast day last Fall, a boat ride on North Georgia’s Lake Lanier changed everything for me. Bumping across the wavelets at 50 mph or so with my brother and his wife, their cabin cruiser sped me back in time.

With the wind and spray in my face, hair whipping back, my body remembered a time decades in my past when I promoted and photographed world champion water skiers. Along with my nearly daily photo sessions, the skiers’ coach had given me lessons which I found challenging, partly because of my slight excess weight, and eventually satisfying.

Under the late legendary pioneer water ski coach, Chuck Dees, I undertook a daily stretching and exercise program because, for skiing, the person must be in top condition. My lessons became a significant part of my life.

Gradually, my clothing size decreased as my stamina, strength and skill increased. First, I learned to ski reliably on two skis; then, after numerous attempts and falls I was able to drop off one ski and skim along on one. Later, I was able to just pop up from the deep water every time, and control my movements sufficiently to begin crossing wakes back and forth. That was exhilarating! 

I cannot express the joy and power over myself I felt at that time of my life!! And, years later, I had actually forgotten that. How sad! I had become a lump, just kind of waiting for my clock to run out.

Then, in October 2010, five months before my 70^th birthday, my brother Chris and his wife Ceci invited me to go out on their boat, and that’s when it all began again. As we flew across the water of Lake Lanier, I suddenly found myself on my feet balancing against the ever-changing boat’s movements. Next, almost without realizing it, I put my right foot behind my left in the slalom position, and held on as we turned and bobbed. Bending my knees slightly I swayed back and forth with the boat, still in ski position. My legs were tired, but I just couldn’t let myself sit down. It felt great!!

This lasted for 15 or 20 minutes, as my mind raced along with the boat. ‘Could I…? Dare I even think about…? Well, maybe… Heck, why not?’ I had decided that I wanted to go through my seventh decade much differently from the way I had spent my 60s. I began to believe I could really recapture the vigor and discipline of my earlier years.

Finally, as the boat came to a stop Chris and Ceci grinned at me, their eyes shining. I proposed to them that if I could get myself in shape by the following summer, they would take me out for a ski run. Immediately, we all high-fived, and the challenge was on!

Well, it went fine for a month or so. I had joined Bally Gym and begun working out regularly, when I learned that I needed surgery on my right foot. ‘OK,’ I thought; ‘I’ll get it over with, and get back on the program’. But it wasn’t so simple.

After the six-week recovery period during which my doctor informed me I was to stay off my foot and keep it elevated, my right leg began hurting. I had no idea what caused that or what to do about it, but it got worse so I consulted Dr. Samuel Milton at Emory Orthopaedics and Spine Center, who, after a month of physical therapy to assess my strengths and weaknesses, diagnosed my condition as patellar-femoris syndrome caused by walking with flat feet turned inward (pronated).

Dr. Milton said this was muscular and did not warrant surgery; he taught me to control it through exercise. When I told him of my then-secret goal of waterskiing by the summertime, his face lit up and he said he loves to waterski, and that’s how I knew this extremely fit man was heaven-sent to help me get up on the water.

He put me on a detailed program of weight, resistance and aerobics training, and recommended a healthful eating program – all geared to my particular needs and goal. I could not have been more blessed and I vowed to myself, I would do the work required.

Initially I would hobble into Bally in great pain, fortified with a leg brace and extra-strength analgesic. Gritting my teeth, I worked through the routine regularly. No, I didn’t feel like it, but I told myself that was my job at that time, and I’d soldier on.

I continued working out and gradually improving, and then came another roadblock – more accurately, a ‘fork in the road’. My husband Stan was diagnosed with Stage 2 prostate cancer. He would require radiation therapy for 25 business days, and I’d be driving him.

We discussed the cancer, and the role it would play in our lives, and decided that we wouldn’t let it define us. Personally, I decided that, while I would care for Stan and help him to recover, I would not let his illness swallow me up. I would maintain my individuality and my goal, with his strong support.

We told only our families and close friends about his diagnosis, carried on with life, and completed his treatments; fortunately, he had no discomfort from the therapy nor any symptoms and, as far as we know, he’s well now. During the days of his therapy, I would go to Bally in the morning, and we would go to Winship Cancer Center in the late afternoons.

Finally, for me and my program the waters ahead were smooth, and the summer began; Chris and I set a date for the great adventure and I drove to their home, full of hope and joy. But it didn’t happen for me. After approximately 90 minutes of attempting to position myself behind the shifting boat and to find the sinking rope handle, my energy had melted away, and we had to give up. To say we were dejected was an understatement.

For a couple of weeks, I contemplated the whole goal, my approach to working out and all the rest, eventually deciding that I would continue to work out because I liked the strength and stamina I had achieved but that, maybe the zing and pizzazz I was seeking had passed me by.

Then, my close friend Tayyibah Taylor, publisher of Azizah Magazine began goading me to complete the task. She was unrelenting (as I sometimes am with her) because, as I am managing editor of the magazine, she believed I could be seen as a role model – an example of ‘the Azizah woman’.

She hounded me to provide her with a photo of me skiing, which she could include in an article titled Fit and Fabulous at each decade, beginning at 30. So, because of Tayyibah’s persistence, it finally occurred to me that I could look for a water ski coach with all the equipment to which I was accustomed, and I could actually achieve my goal.

After contacting Barron Barnes of Lake Lanier Water Ski Center, who agreed to schedule me, I contacted local photographer Michael Pugh who agreed to photograph me, and the rest is history. On a lovely August day we all met and, not only did I get up on one ski, I took my first barefoot skiing lesson!

                                                                                  

Tayyibah has her photo and I have my old self back. Through discipline, persistence, a fantastic support team and the grace of Almighty God, I walk tall now with strength, stamina and – most importantly – the exhilaration of knowing that I can still joyously face life head on, whether the wind blows before me or behind me.

And I love being able to tell people what I’m doing now, instead of what I used to do. Slimmer, stronger and fitter, it’s much more fun to move in the stream rather than sit on the sideline!

I’m certainly no different from anyone else who’s retired or semi-retired – no different at all -- except that I did find the invisible bridge I could cross over to find myself again. I wanted to FEEL the way I used to in my prime and, if you can think back to remember when you felt that way and what made you feel that way, you will also find your invisible bridge.

Of course, it may sway a bit and you may step on a few splinters as you cross over it but, remembering back when you were powerful, you can recapture the strength to continue on to the other side. I wish you a steadily unwavering eye on your goal as you begin your journey!

Delta Airlines Didn't Cause Their Pilot's Fear of Muslims

Recently, I have seen a campaign against Delta Airlines because one of its pilots refused to fly two traditionally dressed imams. Airlines officials attempted to reason with the pilot, but he stuck to his position; consequently, the imams were asked to deplane and given a subsequent flight.

Prejudice in America is not new. My own great-grandfather had to change his name when he immigrated from Ireland, because Irish people were the targets; often it's the Jews, it's always been black people; now the Muslims and, of course, "everyone knows Italian-Americans are gangsters" is another prejudice.

It is important for us to notice who, exactly, is generating the prejudicial activity (in the case of the imams, it was not Delta Airlines per se, so it would be unfair to condemn the entire company for the prejudice of one employee). If a special female TSA person has to pat down Muslim women, thereby delaying their flights, I'm not sure why.

It is important to remember that this prejudice relates to fear much more than hatred. I do understand that Americans are afraid of Muslims in general (as irrational as that may seem to Muslims, especially those who dress traditionally), because whenever a terrorist commits a public crime, he or she shouts, "Allahu akbar!" -- the known typical Muslim expression of allegiance to God. So, it is natural for Americans to associate violence with Muslims; not correct, of course, but perhaps understandable. Also, during the 9/11 attacks three airplanes were involved.

And, yes, media typically highlight anyone who stands out spectacularly – generally, for negative actions. A big part of the media’s job is to get ratings not to set a moral tone, although it is pleasant to see them increasingly turn in that direction. We should not ignore the excellent documentary of CNN’s Soledad O’Brien recently – The Muslims Next Door. She has been a marvelous advocate for fair representation of ordinary, law-abiding American Muslims. And media coverage of Osama bin Laden’s death has often included reference to his killing more Muslims than anyone else.

Prejudice against ordinary, law-abiding Muslims is a public relations problem, and I believe it can be turned around, although I don’t in any way assume that I have all the answers. I remember a PR campaign a year or so ago in Canada, in which Muslims initiated a large billboard presence. Muslims from several public service areas were shown – a policeman, nurse, etc. – with the headline ‘Your Neighborhood Muslim’, or something to that affect. A similar campaign built around that theme could help.

Regarding TSA profiling, of which Muslims often complain, we can regularly contact our state and national politicians, especially those in Homeland Security, regarding the profiling. We can also run for office and let our voices be heard more directly. The key is to always be factually reasonable and courteous. Leave the hot emotions out of it, and persevere -- be convinced that we can solve this problem.

Also, more visibility of Muslims as Americans will go a long way. A big presence at Fourth of July celebrations, with other Americans – not separate -- for example, will help.  Celebrating Black History month with other black Americans, attending sports matches and other cultural events, then commenting on Facebook and Twitter. You get the picture, I hope.

We should watch mainstream media more, in order to know exactly what journalists are saying, rather than what others say they report. We can Friend influential journalists including news editors and publishers, and the main networks on Facebook so that, when we see something good we can tell them so – show appreciation. On the other hand, when we feel they have gotten it wrong or skewed, we can politely let them know. I utilize these tools regularly, and am developing relationships with several of them because they respect my reasoned comments. We can learn to use Twitter in the same way.

In summary, this is a definite problem, with definite solutions. If we choose to participate in the solutions, we can help turn it around. If not, we can continue to complain. It’s up to us. Regardless of our legal status, we are Americans if we are living here, and we can decide to live as Americans rather than a separate outlier group. As for me, I choose to live as a fellow American, and to help our country work through our problems in any way I can. What is your choice?

WILL YOUR CHILD BE THE NEXT BULLYING VICTIM?

BULLYING HASN’T STOPPED – LET’S GET TOGETHER AND STOP IT

http://www.bet.com/news/national/2011/04/01/bullies-hang-boy-in-bathroom-stall.html

A message to future targets of bullying; is one of them your child?

You don’t have to be fat, foreign, tall, thin, short, dark, light or gay – maybe you’re just not into sports. Or rock music. Maybe you just like to read and think. Well, my little friend, that makes you a target for bullying.

What are your parents doing about this? Are they waiting for you to be the next victim before they speak out? Is this the America and Britain you want to grow up in? Where people are tortured because they seem different, and no one really really cares? Do you think your parents and grandparents want you to get hurt? Would you like to see them speak out before it happens to you?

I think I hear you saying, “Yes, please!”

OK, here’s what parents can do to say, “Enough is enough!”:

First, you can copy and paste this note into your Facebook page. This will help raise awareness.

Then, organize parents at your school, or enlist your parents’ group to make copies of the Dept. of Education’s Office of Civil Rights Guidelines on Bullying (http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/dcl-factsheet-201010.pdf), and make sure each family and each school principal has a copy. Also, make it clear to school administrators that you are serious; you WILL NOT tolerate ANY bullying of ANY child in your children’s school.

You will teach, or organize diversity classes for other parents and for your children so that everyone can be clear on what bullying entails, and why it is wrong. (See Appendix 1 below)

You can familiarize yourself with the new Facebook policy on children, and enforce it in your home. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/larry-magid/new-facebook-safety-cente_b_851261.html)

You can talk about bullying, and post your thoughts on it, on your Facebook page.

Appendix 1:

Diversity Training

When life hands you a lemon, peel it

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We often think that teaching our children about diversity is a long and difficult task. However as the following exercise shows, it can be as simple as peeling a lemon:
Gather a group of young children and give them lemons, one lemon for each child. Tell them to `get to know your lemon." The children will examine their lemons-smell them, touch them, throw them in the air, and roll them around. After a few minutes, take the lemons back and collect them in a big basket. Next, ask the children to find their lemons from among the bunch. Remarkably, most recognize their lemons at once. Some will even get protective of them.
Next, ask the children to describe how they recognized their lemons. The responses are always varied. "My lemon was a big lemon," one might say. "My lemon was a perfect lemon," says another. And another, "My lemon had dents and bruises." This launches the discussion about how people are like that-different sizes, different shapes, different shades of color, different "dents and bruises."
After exploring those ideas, collect the lemons again. This time, peel the lemons and return them to the basket without their protective skin. Now tell the children to again find their lemon. Presented with this quandary, the children's reactions are always precious. "But the lemons all look the same!" they'll exclaim. This opens the door to a discussion of how people, much like the lemons, are pretty much the same on the inside.
While it may take only 15 minutes and a bowl of lemons to teach young children about diversity, it takes a conscious effort and a lifetime of attention to ensure that lesson is remembered. As parents, we must provide that commitment.

Teaching Diversity: A Place to Begin

By Dora Pulido-Tobiassen and Janet Gonzalez-Mena

We all want children to grow up in a world free from bias and discrimination, to reach for their dreams and feel that whatever they want to accomplish in life is possible. We want them to feel loved and included and never to experience the pain of rejection or exclusion. But the reality is that we do live in a world in which racism and other forms of bias continue to affect us. Discrimination hurts and leaves scars that can last a lifetime, affecting goals, ambitions, life choices, and feelings of self-worth.

How can we best prepare children to meet the challenges and reap the benefits of the increasingly diverse world they will inherit? We can raise children to celebrate and value diversity and to be proud of themselves and their family traditions. We can teach children to respect and value people regardless of the color of their skin, their physical abilities, or the language they speak.

How to Begin
As our nation grows increasingly diverse, there has never been a better opportunity for us to learn to live respectfully together and benefit from one another's wisdom and experiences. But sometimes fear, uncertainty, or discomfort prevent people from talking to each other. This is especially true when it comes to the topics of race and racism, cultural differences, language and bilingualism, and the myriad questions that arise in a world where these issues have such a powerful place in children's lives. As professionals who partner with families to nurture young children, parents often regard us as a resource on a wide range of issues connected to diversity. We are in a unique position to engage in conversations that ask us to consider important questions such as:

• What does it mean to be a parent raising a child in this diverse world?
• What does it mean to be a young child growing up in this diverse world?

Addressing Diversity
Almost every aspect of child-rearing — including feeding, diapering, and toilet training — is influenced by cultural beliefs and values. How we talk to young children, touch them, bathe them, dress them, and see to their napping needs are all cultural behaviors. Over time, children learn who they are and what to do through these experiences — absorbing a sense of their routines, traditions, languages, cultures, and national or racial identities.

There are many equally valid ways to raise healthy children who thrive in the world. Professional knowledge and experience are important, but we must never forget how much we can learn from the families we work with. For example: Rose comes to pick up her daughter, Pia, at their child care program and asks the teacher why her 13-month-old's shoes are in the cubby instead of on her feet. She requests that Pia always wear her shoes except when she is taking a nap.

The teacher explains that she believes that the best thing for a child who is learning to walk is to go barefoot because her little feet need room to grow, and bare feet are better for balance and control. The nurse practitioner at the clinic where Rose takes Pia and her other children has mentioned this too. He recommends flexible soft leather booties instead of the stiff dressy shoes that Rose has selected. Though both the teacher and the nurse practitioner have good points, what might they learn if they put themselves in Rose's "shoes"?

• Is Rose an immigrant to the United States who worries that Americans will think her ignorant if her child is not wearing shoes?
• Does Rose choose dressy shoes for Pia because she does not want anyone to think she cannot provide the very best for her child?
• Is Rose receiving government financial assistance as she tries to raise her family and worrying that bare feet will stigmatize her daughter as a "welfare child?"
• Is Rose from a part of the world where children contract parasites through their feet if they do not wear shoes?
• In Rose's culture, do people believe children catch colds from bare feet? As you know, diversity is a complex concept, and there is not one single set of right answers for any one person or family. Only by understanding each other can Rose and the professionals who are concerned about Pia agree on how to resolve their differing points of view. The outcome depends on dialogue–a discussion with the goal of understanding each other's perspectives.

Learning to Appreciate Differences
Because young children form ideas about themselves and other people long before they start kindergarten, it is important to begin teaching anti-bias lessons early. If we reinforce these lessons, children will learn to appreciate, rather than fear, differences and to recognize bias and stereotypes when they see them. Children learn early on — from television, books, magazines, photographs, and, of course, interactions–how others view people like themselves. Uncomfortable reactions can alert children to the negative significance some people put on differences. In other words, the differences in eye or skin color can simply become a category of human variation — or those differences can take on a particular negative significance.

If what children do at home is never mentioned or, worse, is considered strange by other children and adults, children may refuse to speak their home language, eat certain foods, wear certain clothes, follow certain religious practices. As some children begin to compare their appearance or life with others, they may start expressing their concerns about being different. We know that children need to be reassured that differences are fine. More than that, we need to work with parents to help bridge the norms, the attitudes, and the ways of doing things in children's cross-cultural worlds — and to counteract any demeaning and harmful messages.

The following suggestions are designed to help you teach children to not only value diversity but also to resist prejudice and discrimination.

• Teach children to be critical thinkers, specifically about prejudice and discrimination. Critical thinking is when we strive to understand issues through examining and questioning. Young children can begin to develop these skills, to know when a word or an image is unfair or hurtful.
• Respond to children's questions and comments about differences even if you're not sure what to say. Children often interpret a lack of response to mean that it's not acceptable to talk about differences. If you're unsure about what to say, try: "I need to think about your question and talk to you later." Or, you can always go back to a child and say: "Yesterday you asked me a question about… Let's talk about it." Another useful response: "I don't really like what I told you this morning. I've given it some more thought, and here's what I really should have said."
• Listen carefully to what children are saying. Ask a few questions before answering to get a clearer idea of what they really want to know and the ideas they already have on the subject.
• Shape your response to the child's age and personality. Generally, children want to know why people are different, what this means, and how those differences relate to them. Remember that children's questions and comments are a way for them to gather information about aspects of their identity and usually do not stem from bias or prejudice.
• Share with families and colleagues ideas for responding to children's questions. You'll gain new ideas and insights as you exchange experiences, and you can clarify what works best for you and your children.
• If children are nonverbal, observe and respond to their curiosity. For example, if a child is staring at or patting the head of a child whose hair is very different from hers, you can say, "He has straight hair, and you have curly hair."
• Model the behaviors and attitudes you want children to develop. Pay particular attention to situations that can either promote prejudice or inhibit a child's openness to diversity. Make sure your program reflects diversity in books, magazines, dolls, puzzles, paintings, music, and so on.
• Don't let racist and prejudicial remarks go by without intervening. It's important to let children know from a very early age that name-calling of any kind, whether it's about someone's religion, race, ethnic background, or sexual orientation, is hurtful and wrong.
• Try to create opportunities for children to interact and make friends with people who are different from them. As you know, children learn best from concrete experiences.
• Involve families in sharing their traditions. In fact, instead of deciding yourself which tradition you would like to expose children to, ask families what they would like to share.
• Try to expose children to role models from their own culture as well as to those from other cultures. Remember: Seeing adults developing positive relationships with people who are different offers an important model and teaches children to value such relationships.

As professionals who work with families, our willingness to talk openly about identity and to help foster a positive sense of self in children can make an enormous difference in affirming the rich diversity of our human community and helping children make bridges across cultures and traditions. Some people fear that by affirming children's identities in terms of home cultures and traditions, we may be promoting separatism. That is not the case. The more that children have a solid grounding and understanding about who they are and where they came from, the more they learn to move with grace and confidence among communities different from their own, and the closer we get to building a world of respect, curiosity, sharing, and humanity.


An Approach for Teaching Diversity

A Dozen Suggestions for Enhancing Student Learning

by Jim Winship

The key word in this title is “An”—this is “an approach” not “the approach” to teaching about diversity. The dozen suggestions here were derived from an extensive literature review, conversations with a number of people nationwide who are knowledgeable about the subject, the contributions of a dozen UWW faculty during a LEARN Center discussion group on “Teaching about Diversity, Teaching in Multicultural Contexts” in the Spring of 2003, and my own twenty-five-plus years of college teaching, twenty-two of these at UW-Whitewater. At UW-Whitewater, I teach a diversity course that draws students from all four colleges at the university and I also integrate diversity-related content and skill development in the social work courses I teach.

The following list of twelve suggestions is not exhaustive. They are ones that are supported by published literature on teaching for diversity, on effective college teaching, and are ones that both colleagues here at UW-Whitewater and I have found effective in teaching our undergraduate students. Faculty are encouraged to adopt those that fit with their discipline and teaching style, and adapt the exercises, simulations, and other materials on this website to their specific courses. The twelve suggestions are roughly sequential—starting with course planning and the start of a class, followed by ideas and approaches that can be used throughout a semester, ending with the importance of providing and receiving feedback.

·         Become increasingly aware of our own identities, fears, and biases as we teach about diversity issues. Our own identities—racial, gender, social class, and others—are more present when we treat topics of diversity in a course than when dealing with less controversial issues. As the subject matter is both broad and also emotionally charged for students, faculty members often question their own abilities teach about and manage diversity-related discussions.

·         Differentiate between your goals for the class and learner objectives, and be clear with students on the objectives and grading.     Students' apprehension about diversity-related learning is partly due to their concerns that they need to have a perspective on issues that mirrors the instructor's. Clearly stated objectives and transparent grading can reduce the level of this apprehension.

·         Work on developing the students' ability to reflect and use higher order thinking skills as much as possible.    Studying diversity-related material and remembering/repeating it on exams may not lead to students being able to meet diversity-related objectives. Reflecting on readings, discussions, and exercises can Students are more likely to internalize course learning when they compare and contrast situations across groups, time, or geography, apply course contents, and use course material to critique statements or positions.

·         Create a safe and engaging classroom climate.   Students will not (and should not) engage in open discussion in class if they fear what will happen. Clearly written ground rules for discussion and modeling both openness and safety leads to more honest interactions.

·         Use building blocks and key concepts as a basis for consideration of diversity issues.  The word “diversity” for many white students is interpreted as “them.” Concepts such as culture, identity, communication, power and privilege, stereotypes and prejudice, and discrimination and oppression can provide a framework for students to understand difference. The concepts can be used to comprehend the impact of attitudes, laws, and other societal forces on the treatment by society and opportunities for advancement on members of marginalized groups.

·         Structure the course so that students learn from interaction with course material, not relying on minority students to educate their peers. In a class with both majority and minority students, it is not the job of minority students to help other students understand issues such as prejudice, exclusion, and discrimination. The instructor can focus student attention on Information on demographic realities, selected reading, or a video segment can be the starting point for students to analyze or respond to the information, an author's point of view, or a character's actions.

·         Connect when possible to students' experience and interests. There are separate and connected ways of knowing. When students apply course concepts to their personal and family life and/or to their proposed career, course learning is more likely to be appreciated and applied.

·         Use relevant exercises and simulations to engage students. Exercises and simulations can allow students to “step outside themselves” and see things from a different perspective. The experience of a class in a simulation or exercise can be used as a reference point during the semester during the presentation/discussion of course concepts.

·         Move from lower risk to higher risk activities during the semester. Some diversity-related topics are more highly emotionally charged than others. Plan a course so that students acquire needed content and concepts and the class becomes accustomed to talking about diversity-related issues before moving to “hot button” issues.

·         Plan classroom discussions at least as carefully as lectures controversial situations. Discussions are more likely to be effective when the teacher is clear on the reasons for conducting discussions, adopts approaches for making the discussions productive, and is comfortable with the various roles that the teacher must play in discussions.

·         Be prepared for conflict and/or reluctance from students as they are being asked to examine long-held beliefs. Some issues are controversial because they concern the distribution of valuable resources, such as employment in the case of affirmative action. Other issues address strongly help beliefs values. Resistance by some students to some diversity-related learning should not only be expected but can be seen as valuable for learning by both individuals and for an entire class.

·         Receive and provide feedback both to individual students and to a class. Classroom Assessment Techniques can be used to provide the instructor with important ongoing information on what students are learning and how they are reacting to course material. Written feedback (aside from grading) can increase faculty-student communication.